Friday, November 11, 2011

Drive-throughs for Everyone!

Do you remember those writing prompts when you were in school? Things like, what do you want to be when you grow up? And, if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Or, my favorite, what if you were mayor/governor/president for the day?

I'm taking the challenge. As official queen of my local 50-mile radius, I am hereby declaring that every place of business shall have a drive-through, or suffer the ridicule of me spray-painting a giant frowny face on the side of your building.

Here's why: I have a two-year old. Now I don't know if you have or have ever had a two-year old, but the worst part about a kid in a carseat is getting them IN and OUT of the carseat ALL THE TIME.

It's completely obnoxious. I mean, what happened to the good ol' days when you could just leave your kids in the car when you ran in for a six-pack? (Joking! I'm sort of joking!)

Last Sunday, I was heading over to mom's for a quick visit/get the heck out of my house errand with Henry. I wanted to get a newspaper, just to check out the sales circulars, as we're shopping for a new dishwasher (which is an entirely different rant). I had to unbuckle Henry, carry all 27 pounds of him into the gas station, grab a paper, wait in line for the little [bad word] who cut in front of me, and finally pay my $1.50 for the Sunday paper.

[I'm trying to limit my language. For the kid.]

Oh, wait, then I had to bring him back to the car, throw him in, and re-buckle him for the 7 minute ride to Mom's house.

All of this hassle would have been saved if only the Royal Farms had a drive-through.

It's not so bad in summer, but on days like today, when I would be on the receiving end of major frowny faces if I didn't put a jacket on my kid, I have to put on his jacket before we get out of the car. And then take it off again when we get back in, because, like me, Henry will sweat his little tush off if he wears his jacket for the whole ride home.

And then there's the stroller situation. Getting a stroller in and out of the car is a major pain in the you-know-where, especially when you have MY kid, who is not exactly thrilled about being moved from one contraption that controls his movement to a DIFFERENT contraption that also limits his flailing about. Sure, WalMart + Target have shopping carts for me to put the kid in, but what about the pharmacy? And yes, I am aware that many pharmacies have kindly installed a drive-through in this day and age for the old people picking up their prescriptions - you know, the old geezers who shouldn't be driving anyway, for the love of pickles.
But that's only for prescriptions! What about when I really need some tissues? Or a PAPER? Or sudafed? I don't want to have to drag my poor little kid out in the cold because his mom is cranky and wants her sales circulars, for Pete's sake. I just want the convenience of never having to leave my car. Or put on a coat.

First order of queenhood accomplished, I would then set my sights on free daycare for everyone! Because, hot dog, childcare is expensive.

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